“U got it, u got it bad, when you’re on the phone… hang up and then you call right back…”
As I belted Usher while walking Emily on UTC’s campus, my mind drifted to the old pingpong table that my parents used to have. Like most things from childhood, I don’t know where we got it, but it was always there, sitting under the eaves of our pool house. We would pop in the Now That’s What I Call Music! 8 CD to the boom box and listen to Usher’s “U Got It Bad” on repeat while we battled it out in the never-ending pingpong tournament.
That “we” included James, of course. James and I were inseparable for the summers of my childhood. We played basketball; we rode bikes; we walked to the convenience store; we jumped off the roof into the pool.
What else could there possibly be in life?
Continue reading “My Boyfriend Doesn’t Give Me Butterflies”
“No worries! :)” I texted back.
The guy I had been seeing for the past few weeks had just texted to let me know he was going to have to reschedule our plans for that afternoon.
This is the third time this week, I thought as I started to feel the familiar knot form at the base of my stomach. How long am I going to have to do this?
Continue reading “The Myth of Selflessness”
When I was about ten years old, I decided I was going to be a cheerleader for Halloween.
Sounds normal enough, ya?
Thing was, at 10 years old, I was a hard tomboy.
I wore the same baby blue soccer shirt and black Umbro elastic-waisted shorts to school everyday. I cut my hair into a chili bowl. I prided myself on my 1st place pedal tractor pull trophy. I was aggressively not feminine.
But for whatever reason, that October I snuck into my sister’s bedroom, stole her WMS cheerleading uniform, and put it on. I strode into our kitchen where my mom and sister were sitting and declared, “I’m a CHEERLEADER!” with my arms lifted in a V-for-victory pose.
Continue reading “What I’ve Learned From Not Being Pretty”
I had gotten to the house at 10:22 AM. It was now about 11:43 and I was lying on the floor, holding my dog Lucas in front of me. His eye was starting to twitch again, so I knew another seizure was coming on. This would be his fourth.
I held him through the spasms, whispering to him, “It’s okay, my big boy. It’s okay. You doin’ so good. You my sweet boy.”
As the last involuntary muscle flexing ended, I jumped up, ran outside to clear the back of my dad’s Chevy Blazer and yelled for my dad to come help lift my 90-lb lab. We had to go to the hospital.
Continue reading “Be a Fool for Love”
About a month ago, I decided I’d had enough.
After the break-up, I fell into a pattern of crying through the workday, crawling into my bed at 4 pm, and staying there until I “went to bed.” I had fallen into a situational depression complete with reeling thoughts (“Why am I unlovable?”) and no energy. My lethargy resulted from what my sister calls “My Divorce Diet;” I was rarely putting nutrients into my body because food tasted like shredded paper.
I was stuck. And I couldn’t shake it.
At least, I couldn’t shake it alone. So, to find relief, I made an appointment with a hoo-woo-woo-woo doctor at the local Center for Integrative Medicine. The herbalist patiently listened to my emotional and spiritual woes and promptly let me know that I was stuck in the Earth element, which meant I was unable to let go and move to the other side of my grief. She suggested that my stomach lining was dysfunctional and that I was probably anemic. She prescribed me an herbal treatment to calm my thoughts and encourage healing in my stomach. She suggested that I aim for 50g of protein in my breakfast.
I was hesitant, but I walked out the door with a “Present & Centered” tincture in hand.
It couldn’t hurt.
About an hour after I got home from my witch doctor appointment, I got a phone call from my Western doctor letting me know the blood work I had done a few days prior was in.
Continue reading “5 Ways to Troubleshoot Negative Emotions”
Could you stay the sensation if you knew it was nourishing? That’s the question my yoga teacher posed in the class I attended yesterday while we were breathing into some “intense” toe stretches. I was uncomfortable as I eased back on my heels, pain threatening to sprint from my pinky toe to my lower calf. His question … Continue reading Stay the Sensation: 4 Ways to Keep Zen Through a Break-Up