The Honest-to-God Truth of Successful Relationships

Sometimes I wish you were dead.

That’s what Marion told her husband Don during an honesty exercise at a couple’s therapy weekend led by their therapist Ellyn Bader. Bader recounts in her book, Tell Me No Lies, that Marion had been unhappy for years in her marriage, but — not wanting to face the discomfort and shame of divorce — she had simply wished her husband dead. Wishing him dead was easier than facing the possibility of having to choose rejection and loneliness.

The story continues that later that weekend after their talk, Don nearly gets run over by a car. He turns to Marion after the scare and says, “Well, you missed your chance.”

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Telling Lies and Meeting Needs: The World’s Worst Bedfellows

Last night, I woke up at 2:30 AM to strange male voices at the place I’m housesitting. I pulled the typical don’t-move-and-they-won’t-getcha-thing for about 5 minutes while I tried to parse out who in the hell could be in the house besides me and Sarah, the 17-year-old girl for whom I’m playing active guardian while her … Continue reading Telling Lies and Meeting Needs: The World’s Worst Bedfellows